random.rant.com

untitled

2007-04-08T05:18:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder what am i doing, why am i doing this.

all i wish to hear is how much am i worth for all this.

BACK FROM TAIPEI

2006-12-28T14:57:00.000+08:00

watch this space. more updates coming your way.

houseparty!

2006-12-19T12:55:00.000+08:00

About a few weeks back on the night of armin van buuren, Jo suggested on going to her place for house party. Many weeks went past and last sat was that party. woke up rather early cause jo wanted me and hakim to help out. In the end much of the cooking was done by jo and siewying and me and hakim were like their runners. I met up with hakim at Bedok at around 2pm to look for some groceries and other stuff that the ladies needed for the night. We actually wanted to get french loaves but then we kept walking arnd the town and in the end we went back to NTUC to get the ones that hakim didnt want to get cause jo wanted the bigger ones. Got what we wanted and we headed for her place. Jo's place really looks cosy somehow, even though her place was quite small for me. Anyway both jo and siewying had already started to cook before we came over. They planned to cook shepherd's pie, breaded parmesan chicken, pasta, bruschetta, choco brownies and devil's eggs, and they managed to cook all of them in the end. Im seriously impressed by that because of the fact that i have nv eaten such italian/western food, and most of the time i spend my meals at the kopitham, at home or at the camp's pathetic cookhouse. So well done ladies!

Soon arnd 4, eddy and fendy came over. Me and Hakim were told to get some stuff at the grocery store nearby. eddy went over to help the rest of them to cook. Like when eddy said, "never trust a skinny chef!" . Soon one of jo's friend, leonard, came over. Somehow when i first saw him, he looked kinda familiar to me. Then jo told me that he was a national swimmer, guess i have probably seen him in the recent Asian Games on TV somewhere. o well. We decided to watch some dvds and have dinner at the same time. Gary came next. We started to watch The Covenant, some show about 4 male witches (whatever u call them), didnt quite enjoy the show so most of the time i was out at the balcony chilling with fendy and jo. We decided to play 5-10 and think all 3 of us drank quite abit. After that show, eddy decided to play the next show, Clockwork Orange. It was a strange show. Weird language used. In the beginning of the show i couldnt understand until somewhere near the middle/ending part of the show. Anyway siewying left early arnd halfway thru the show, think she had something on in the end. After the show, we decided to make more drinks and play more silly card games. We were quite wasted but then halfway thru the game, eddy and jo decided to make some supper for us, leftover bruschetta and weird looking pizza! Ate and had more drinks, cleaned up the area and we all slpt in the living room. I realised i have been kicking fendy 'cause he was slpping at the other end.

Most of us woke up at arnd 12 plus. Sat at the couch and watched some sunday morning tv programmes. Had chips and soft drinks for breakfast. Damn bad. Makes me realise how good our camp's cookhouse breakfast is. hahah. Anyway we decided to go down town to hang out and walk arnd. Initially wanted to catch a movie but by the time we got there, it was raining quite heavily and we cant go most of the places. Walked arnd town, settled dinner at scotts' food court, brought CUBE and FHM mags over at borders and had coffee after that at starbucks. Headed home after that.

Woke up at arnd 10 in the morning and went over to xinyi's workplace to have lunch with her. her workplace was at tanjong pagar, CBD area, lots of working class folks. i felt kinda out of place when i was eating at amoy street hawker centre. everyone was wearing business/formal wear, high heels, black leather shoes, ties and suits and here i was, wearing teeshirt from threadless.com and jeans. haha. i felt like as though i was on internship for a company back in my poly days. Nostalgic feeling. anyway after lunch, she wanted to go to the post office to send some stuff over for her friend in london. i was lost as well at the post office. hardly do i send stuff or posting to people overseas. anyway managed to ask arnd and got what she wanted. after that she went back to her office and i went off.

a fragile life

2006-12-14T20:55:00.000+08:00

Today i almost lost my life. almost crashed into the right side metal barricade. Boss was driving us frm hendon camp, he said he was kinda falling aslp and so i decided to chit chat with him. I was kinda bored as it was a one sided conversation, so i decided to keep quiet. Upon reaching the bend i noticed we picked up speed and somehow the vehicle didnt follow the bend and started to sway to the right side. I quickly reached for his steering wheel and steered leftwards. Fuck. For a moment there was this sudden rush of adrenaline. doctor kinda got up from his micro-sleep. Wtf. 3 of our lives (Bernard was behind sleeping as well) could have been gone just like that. Somehow i knew if i didnt make the turn, we would have been dead by now. Reality set in when i was thinking back when i had the time to sit down and think about it. Facing death in the eye. Seriously i was kinda shaken by what actually happened. Wondering what could have actually happened if the car crashed and none of us died. Disabled for life? Im not ready for that. Seriously. I have so many things to accomplish, just too many, and 21 isnt a very right age to perish. Bernard's only fucking 19 yrs old. not even 20 yet. Sigh. Im just glad nothing happened at all.

Had dinner with my boss and bernard on Tues, boss wanted to go out and have dinner and play pool. had roasted duck at bt timah area. went over to mambo for pool. AO and his gf joined us later. im surprised to see him bounce back from his old relationship that fast. oh well, i have nothing to comment on that, it's not like as though im really good with relationships either. haha. Boss sent us back to camp after that.

Met up with joelle, hakim, eddy and fendy in town. As usual i was there early yet again. Then joelle came in. We kinda chit chatted for awhile before eddy and fendy came. Were suppose to meet at 7 in the first place but in the end eddy and fendy came at arnd 745 and i had to leave camp at arnd 9.30. Shit. So little time to spend out. Nothing really special in the end. Just one of those regular gatherings with friends.

Its Friday finally, and tonight will be my last night sleeping in camp and i will be back in camp nx year. ON LEAVE BABY!!! Gonna take a long deserved break before the next work year starts. Hectic work year but 2007 would be ORD YEARR!!! FINALLY!! Til then this is the end for now.

2006-12-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

Just another post from camp. Sitting down in this cold dark office and having nothing much to do makes you wanna blog somehow. Weird feeling huh. Anyway this is a random post. having all those weird mixed bag feelings, a little bit of this and that, it's just weird to describe them. I dont even know what are they. I wonder how would you describe all that. Perhaps 'Royak'?
Spent the weekends at angela's chalet. Her chalet was really big i must say. Just too big. I think you can have a mini school gathering thing over there, or maybe a pri school gathering with all those noisy kids running arnd and having fun. Anyway after walking arnd idling and watching tv, we all decided to go down the beach, with xinyi wesley ning azhar and zhiwei. Walking down the stairs leading to the beach was rather difficult for me as i cant see really well in the dark, but i tried my best to lead my way to the beach as i was the only guy bringing the 2 ladies down the beach. Think we took some photos and we kinda felt bored and decided to take zhiwei's Honda Jazz to changi village to buy some drinks and walk arnd. We saw many trannys along the way. I feel sad for them, it's like they are trapped in this body but they cant get out and all. BUT what the heck, we carried on and walked arnd til we felt bored again and went further down the beach towards SFT terminal. That place brings me back memories. Memories of myself being a poor recruit booking in on those rather sad sunday nights. The bus ride, falling in, waiting at the ferry terminal, that boat ride with those lousy cushion seats and tv sets with lousy receptions (who can we blame, we are crossing 'overseas'). Man, those were good and bad memories that i will carry til my death bed. Anyway we went to the beach and kinda walked arnd to see alot of malay families camping out on a sat night. Quite nice to see the entire family camping out there and BBQ-ing. I think it's a rather interesting bonding experience for family or friends to do that. Think maybe should organise something like this some day like i told miss lee about it! hahah. Think we hung out of the time at the playground playing swings. Shall post more photos once i get back home. Went back to the chalet, guess we were just too tired and i knocked out instantly at the sofa back at the chalet. Went back home after that. Thanks for the ride zhiwei.
Booking back in today felt empty somehow, like a lack of motivation, isnt that sort of feeling that would disappear by the end of the week. It's just hard to describe this. Maybe a bit of sadness and happiness and emptiness and whatever. O well no point talking about them anyway. Perhaps someday if anyone out there feels like that, you will understand how I feel. Night folks. Back to my BUNK bed. Damn.

2006-12-06T19:41:00.000+08:00

8 days have passed since i last blogged. Looks like there arnt much to blog about nowadays, considering the lack of facilities in camp for me to do so. Welcome to stay in platoon. Its hard to swallow this staying in issue. Initally it didnt struck me that hard, til the first night when i finally lay on my bed and the reality of staying in started to set it. Its SHITTY. The feeling of not being about to see your own room's ceiling is just crap, though theres nothing interesting on my ceiling, but the feeling is just...different. Somehow maybe after staying in i will start to appreciate things much better, even for the smallest of things like being about to stare at my ceiling pendent light. I guess from next week onwards people will start bringing in their own pillow casing, bed sheets and bolster to camp, just to make themselves comfortable like ken and cb vinson ( YES IT'S YOU AGAIN ). Yes, i cant stand your whining in bunk about going back home and smell your own bed and bringing girls back home vinson, so just shut up and slp.

Went to angela's place on sunday to pass her some cloths that she bought for wesley's chalet last time and she's gonna used them for her chalet this coming sunday. We chatted at her place and she kept bugging me about my blog but i refused to tell her til i gave in and told her when i got back that night. Anyway when i saw the mess in her house, i just felt like helping her clean up and make it neat and tidy. I like things to be tidy and in order. haha sorry thats just me. Anyway went home and talked to her online bout stuff and all. Im sure by the time u read this, i think you have already know what me and angela has been talking about. but anyway, just wish that she could just give that wide smile everytime. Its just comforting to see that somehow =p

Sometimes i wonder why i chose to create this pathetic looking blog but yet write nothing interesting ( well to some i guess ) about it. I have never like the thought of writing my feelings down somewhere or somehow. I feel that feelings should be kept to yourself or expressed out to others instead. Somehow its just weird to write about how you feel about stuff thats happening around you. What i mean is like very personal feelings. Maybe i feel vulnarable and i dont feel like exposing myself too much i guess. Dont know if that makes sense to anyone what the heck.

Has the army changed me? Yes. Why? I suppose the evil things and the screwed up system has taught me to be a person with no heart. Being a medic, im suppose to help those in need whenever i can. Yes i do that all the time. But to simply put it, not everyone deserves it. People just dont appreciate what you do in the army. Everyone here thinks that this is your responsiblity somehow and whenever they need us, they can just simply snap their fingers and expect us to march in like idiots or robots? cant they just be appreciative and say a little thank you somehow? Why cant everyone be like that? just be appreciative. even the smallest thing can mean alot to other people. Even saying a simple thank you to the auntie that helps you wash the dishes at the cookhouse everyday at the cookhouse, is good enough. All i need is someone to be appreciative in what i do everyday. i suppose i knew this difference when there was a change in my boss. My previous boss was a fucking cunt. He was unjust most of the time to us and never really quite appreciated when we do. It was an expectation to him. thats what i feel. My current boss, hes totally opposite, and somehow i felt that being able to have someone who appreciates, esp your own boss, makes alot of differences. Works feel much better and you are willing to give your 101% to work and not grumble and run away. ( yes i do that, who doesnt? ) So, bottomline is, just be appreciative to whoever is doing a favour for you, someday u might just need that favour from that person.

some rather heartbreaking news just broke out. thanks for the concern joe.

nikeid

2006-11-27T20:58:00.000+08:00

Janice 大哥

2006-11-26T18:49:00.000+08:00

some hk female singer. dont quite understand canto, but she's got a awesome voice.

Janice 大哥

2006-11-26T15:39:00.000+08:00

time for a news update. Im just gonna summarize basically how the entire week went.

Mon 20th
Monday was just another ordinary day. Went to the gym with Jensen (SIRRR!) and Suhan. Felt quite good as Jensen was guiding me on proper workout and all. Thanks bro. Ended work early 'cause wasnt much things to do in office. Boss let us off early. Went to town with CB Vinson (yes it's you again!), to go buy stuff and scout arnd for Angela's birthday celebration that i planned since the day i told her to meet her on her bday night (wed night). Anyway, left early from town, we all did what we wanted to. Just when i was reaching home, she msged me and asked me where i was, wanted to meet up for dinner but i was already home ( im so sorry, next time =p).

Tues 21st
went for dental checkup at SAFTI early morning. havent had dental check up since the days back at St Gabriel's Pri. Its been a long time. Almost 10 +++ fucking yrs. Luckily the DO said there wasnt anything wrong with my teeth, so all he did was some washing, which kinda felt quite good after that when i looked at myself in the mirror. Went back to camp. HERES THE MOST INTERESTING BUT HEARTBREAKING NEWS: WE HAVE TO FUCKING STAY IN FROM THIS COMING MON. FUCK. What a way to start the week. The reason given was that the OPFOR company's morale was low and they reasoned with us on the issue on how come we can stay out. FUCK MAN, GET YOUR IDEAS STRAIGHT. Pls dont blame your manangment problem and make it sound like its our fault for your lack of management in your company. We get to stay out because we work everyday and thats our reward. Stay Out. Thats all i have to say for that. Period.

Wed 22nd
Work as usual. Nothing to talk bout. Work is work. Ended work late. Rush down town to get her cake and flower. This is something i have to confess. First time im buying flowers for a girl. Just special to me. Anyway bought a rose for her. Went home had dinner and went over to her place with all the stuff that i bought to celebrate her 21st. Found a nice spot at the park and started setting up the place, arranging the candles i bought frm ikea on the park pavement with the words "Happy Birthday Angela". Along the way this indian couple came over to take a look and helped me lit up the rest of the tealight. Anyway she came after she celebrated with waileng diana and kelly. Then she came, gave her the flowers and present. Then she started to take pictures of the tealight then she realised i spelled the name wrongly. Im really sorry for that. I knew her for so long but then i got her name wrong. Sorry. Anyway gave her a cake and sang birthday song for her. We sat and chatted before she helped me clear up the area and i sent her to her doorstep. Anyway hope you like what i have done for ya.

Thurs 23rd
no updates for today as i was sick. Took MC today. This isnt for those who didnt know what happened. Anyway happy 21st birthday to Angela.

Fri 24th
On off today. Woke up and went for mahjong session at Zong Yan's place with jerry. 3 Men mahjong. Believe it or not, we played frm 3pm to 6am the next day. Rather amazing but tiring. Went for dinner at Bt timah at arnd 8pm, with Zong Yan driving his dad's car. Had bak kut teh. Somehow after i had that bak kut teh, my luck at the mahjong table took a total 360 degrees turn. Everything was going down under. But ultimately it was about the company of friends that you play with though i lost bout 5 dollars.

Sat 25th
Woke up late again. Met up with gary eddy fendy kenneth in town before heading down to zouk. Armin Van Buuren was playing tonight. It was quite good, though not as good as some of his sets that he played else where arnd the world. Had a couple of beers behind heading in. Met hakim and his gf joelle. Had a few shots of tequilla and vodka. Head to the dance floor and enjoyed the night awayy...

2006-11-20T00:45:00.000+08:00

a little late on the update but what the heck

Fri 17th.
Ended work really early at arnd 1plus. had a little nap before i booked out. Initally suppose to go town to meet Vinson but then decided not to disturb his date, so thought of going home to put my stuff then head out to town to meet ning,xinyi and diana. Along the way in the train, something struck me and i decided to go to Ikea to get some stuff for the house. Bought a paper-pendent lighting, some photo frames and saw a cabinet which it kinda suits my room. Called ning and she said she
will be studying at mac at Bras Basah. Made my way there after Ikea, saw her working hard on her maths, something which i havent really do since sec sch. Missed those days of sec sch. Now i had completely forgotten my math knowledge. How sad, but life is about living thru your regards. Anyway we walked down frm there to Plaza Singapura's Cafe Cartel to meet Xinyi. I was entertained by the two ladies trying to entertain themselves with their silly jokes and ning trying to bite xinyi. lolol. must have been really hungry. Diana joined us after 45mins later. Had our dinner and we kinda catch up for awhile. Xinyi said she wanted to go heerens to check out the havannas (wrong spelling i think?). Angela called later cause she ended her sch discussion with her proj mates and all of us decided to meet at Alleybar. Had drinks and we chatted over before we received a call from Wesley saying that he didnt have enough cash to pay for the cab from the ferry terminal, so i went over to find him. Shortly after me and him joined the ladies for a while, they decided to call it a night because both xinyi and ning are Cinderellas, cannot go home too late. Soon after we parted our own ways.

Sat 18th.
Was quite glad that i woke up at arnd 10-11am. Usually by the time i wake up on Sat, its like arnd 2pm plus. Anyway met up with zeus at amk station to visit eddy/fendy's place for their 21st bday celebrations. met Jerry, Jing Ren, Zhihao, Gary, Freddo, Pui Suan, Zicheng shortly after that. We bought 2 XBOX games, Fifa 07 and Need for Speed Carbon, for the twins, thinking that going empty handed wouldnt have been nice. Went over to their place at arnd 3plus and had lunch with the twins and their family. We hang arnd for quite some time til we knew what we wanted to do at night. Some of eddy's classmates came over. Saw Charmaine as well. Anyway after much time wasted we decided to go club at zouk. Went over at arnd 9plus. Bought King Robert II Scorch and we drank over at the kopitham with the famous 'kim moh' uncle, which went MIA for a week 'cause he went Bangkok for his 40th bday. He's such a charismatic & unique chap. We drank and talked cock over cheap alcohol and beer and dinner. was soon joined by fendy's classmate, kenneth and melvin. We headed in and Wesley called me asking if i was clubbing tonight and said he would be joining me later. Managed to get a table, was soon joined by Ah Heng and Hakim. It was a reunion of all our 'kahkis'. Anyway we drank and the 3 ppple that were really wasted were gary, freddo and eddy. LOLOL. Shortly past 1230, jerry and heng gave this idea to go to KTV pub. Never been to one so i thought, why not? It was an eye opening experience, but i wouldnt recommend going back there again, just isnt my type. Anyway went back to pick the rest up and went for supper then headed back home.

Sun 19th.
woke up. did the usual. helped my dad set up the lighting in the room and put up the new curtains. was suppose to meet wesley at 4.45pm but had to help my dad get the work done. was kinda worried so helped him finish up the work before i left. was suppose to go the SAM to visit some art exhibits done by zaha hadid but was kinda late so i went to bras basah to get some stuff and met wes and azhar. Had dinner at Burger King before wes suggested to go marina square to watch casino royale. It was a different approach to the usual cool sleek James Bond movies in the past. The plot was a little different. Characters were quite weak, esp for some of the supporting characters. As usual, James Bond and his fellow female colleague, were charming. Went back home. We were suppose to meet Angela at the train station but i guess she kinda waited too long for us and neither one of us answered our phones 'cause we turned on silent mode. So to Angela: our sincere apologizes for the wait hahah.

Mon 20th.
went the work with all our bosses out for the whole day for recce (YESSSS!). went to gym with Jensen (SIRRRRR!) and LCP Suhan (COL). Was rather fulfilling to have worked out in the gym with the help of Jensen and enthusiastic Suhan. Went for early lunch. i have no idea why the cookhouse food is getting from bad to worse. So much for being the Best CookHouse in the entire SAF before i came into this camp for 3 (or 4 i cant remember) consecutive years. Went back to office and left arnd 3plus after getting permission from doctor to leave early. Went town with CB VINSON ( yes, it's you, CB) again. Walked arnd town and get what i wanted before we left for home.

thats it for now. such a long posting. *phew*

2006-11-16T21:36:00.000+08:00

As a promise that i made to Jerry, Zong Yan and Gary, we went mambo at zouk last night. Met gary on the bus, went into zouk and had a round before we met the rest and we went out to the usual kopitham for another round of beer. Standard SOP. Went back at arnd 11.30, bought them a round of tequilla shots. Me and zong stayed at phuture all night.

We left at arnd 400. All of them went home except me, which i headed back to camp. Went back to the bunk with a weird feeling. Maybe because i was used to seeing everyone slp in the bunk whenever we return to camp during exercises. Feels empty and hollow somehow.

Barely had 2 hrs of slp before i was disturbed by cb vinson in the morning. Happily talked about going for breakfast before he realised that it was his duty to open up the office today. Had the usual roll call before we headed for breakfast.
I dont know what struck me in the head but i was wide awake and i was busy talking crap and cracking stupid joke. (To Ryan: Kick boxing kangaroos are not afraid of landrovers BTW !!)

Went back to office for work. Fast forward to after lunch. i was reading jensen's (SIRRRR!) FHM, when i received a strange call frm my boss, asking if my magazine was nice or not. Obviously timothy sabo-ed me by telling doctor i was happily reading magazine in the bunk. (BTW before he went up to the office, he was sleeping in the bunk.)WTF was that about? cant he just tell doctor i was in bunk and instead of telling him everything. Obviously trying to fuck me behind my back yet again. Fucking cunts. Everytime i would try to cover for him if he was sleeping in office or bunk or doing nothing in office whenever boss asked about his whereabouts. i really hate those fucking backstabbers and people who just simply dont think before they do anything.

Anyway moving on, boss interviewed me today. He shared with me something rather insightful about life. He was talking about making your life to the fullest after we leave the army. he said we should live life based on the two Ps: Principle and Passion. Without passion, there is just simply no motivation to jumpstart in whatever you do. Without principle, we just wont know what's right or wrong. What i really liked bout what he said, was about committing to something before changing your daily habits to suit that commitment. Somehow it's because of this, that's how people are able to attend languages class and yoga classes or whatever external activities they have every week. He also told me about his time spent in university, about his relationship that he had and his views about not having a relationship in uni. What he thinks is that finding love in uni life shuts your life down. He said you can always find love after that. Go make more friends and do things that you havent got a chance to try, then you will find life more meaningful and well spent. well somehow when i think of it, i couldnt help but to agree only half. i suppose u cant help fall in love when somehow u met that someone, and also it's not about making yourself feel that the times spent were meaningful, but the times that were spent together with your special one. so thats my take yah.

Nothing to share much today. Lastly we should never judge the person's character just be looking at what sort of things/activities he does. They could be just another nice guy along the street afterall.

Mmm..

2006-11-14T21:46:00.001+08:00

Here's something interesting that i came across:
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/ba2e6088-704a-11db-9da6-0000779e2340.html

...and so much for 'promoting an open society'. how ironic.

2006-11-14T21:02:00.000+08:00

Well today has been a really good day, cause somehow or rather, i managed to pass my driving test. We (me and the tester) were the first vehicle to come back to the driving centre, which kinda made me nervous thinking that i might just fail straight away. I had that feeling cause we kept turning left and all, and we didnt even make a U-turn which was a little surprising. BUT as long as it was a pass, i was glad. I was really glad that i didnt have to pay for more lessons or make any more test date bookings. Ironically i didnt have to see mr kang (he's my instructor btw) again, which was kinda a good but sad thing, but i guess i really have to thank him for pushing me hard in order for me to pass. THANKS!

Anyway had lunch with mom near my place after i collected my temp license.. We had Indonesian food. i will recommend people to come down to this 24hr coffeeshop to try their Indonesian food. Ever since i was young, ive always love their food and style of cooking esp. their otah otah and rendang mutton. Anyway if you guys have any chance to pass by Serangoon Ave 2. please try it.

Here's a video by Bloc Party - So Here We Are

what would tomorrow be?

2006-11-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

will tomorrow be another day? or will it be a day that i wont forget. for i fear the worst but yet, there lies a little excitement beneath those mixed feelings. i hope i will be able to make the cut and succeed tomorrow. really. everything depends on tomorrow.

NTU Student Survey

2006-11-13T22:14:00.001+08:00

Mew - Snow Brigade

2006-11-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

Zicheng aka mr prata spinner linked me this live performance by this Danish indie grp called Mew. Enjoy folks =)

First Posting

2006-11-13T19:14:00.001+08:00

my first posting. wooo! found this simple blogskin to get my blog started. this blog was created purely out of total boredom and i wanted a space for me to rant whatever daily activities (if i do have the time to post, that is) or anything interesting. well i hope i dont bore you guys out there.